Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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