But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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