I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize