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I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
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