Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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  (917): I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time! http://tfl.nu/fe3b
  Replies (18) Good night (2900) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her

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  (416): No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her http://tfl.nu/hm02
  Replies (108) Good night (3923) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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  (818): I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head http://tfl.nu/6xrq
  Replies (141) Good night (2111) Bad night (4845) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class

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  (775): hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class http://tfl.nu/hb3s
  Replies (22) Good night (4878) Bad night (1162) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it

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  (443): but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it http://tfl.nu/n2yq
  Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (3744) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.

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  (303): she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/t82v
  Replies (8) Good night (4817) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double

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  (604): she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double http://tfl.nu/55xg
  Replies (18) Good night (4642) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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  (484): No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone. http://tfl.nu/updb
  Replies (6) Good night (2477) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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  (717): Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl. http://tfl.nu/lse9
  Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?

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  (859): How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation? http://tfl.nu/5k7a
  Replies (9) Good night (1461) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?

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  (914): He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption? http://tfl.nu/z5ix
  Replies (11) Good night (1703) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.

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  (720): We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins. http://tfl.nu/ctwf
  Replies (6) Good night (1509) Bad night (289) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Haha hell yea

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.

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  (980): You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday. (336): Haha hell yea (980): Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday. http://tfl.nu/pa5o
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (235)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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  (801): It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word). http://tfl.nu/10dp
  Replies (8) Good night (725) Bad night (283)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?

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  (647): didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail? http://tfl.nu/zlp7
  Replies (10) Good night (315) Bad night (852)

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