the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
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In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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