Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize