Taylor Swift is so right about you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize