If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize