I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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