Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
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It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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