Betty ford says i'm here all night
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize