i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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