Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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