Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Fuck appropriateness.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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