so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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