i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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