I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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