and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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