I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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