her vagine was all disorganized.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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