My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize