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I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
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