If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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