Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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