There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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