im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize