Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!

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  (248): Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks! http://tfl.nu/xdy8
  Replies (7) Good night (1148) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?

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  (972): Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/cxvx
  Replies (81) Good night (1377) Bad night (18767) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Nah, just masturbating louder

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  (239): Is it weird being in the house without any roommates? (813): Nah, just masturbating louder http://tfl.nu/cjwy
  Replies (7) Good night (5252) Bad night (872)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.

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  (952): pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient. http://tfl.nu/mkyj
  Replies (2) Good night (3105) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.

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  (317): They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me. http://tfl.nu/zjv5
  Replies (4) Good night (2044) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.

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  (802): All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed. http://tfl.nu/ahym
  Replies (4) Good night (1722) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy

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  (717): The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy http://tfl.nu/dgrf
  Replies (8) Good night (884) Bad night (2154) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.

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  (732): I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour. http://tfl.nu/7icu
  Replies (7) Good night (1328) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.

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  (212): I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker. http://tfl.nu/yz4c
  Replies (11) Good night (789) Bad night (1909) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere

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  (506): And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere http://tfl.nu/qfu5
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (790) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.

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  (740): Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked. http://tfl.nu/voiu
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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  (402): Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom http://tfl.nu/4fn6
  Replies (9) Good night (453) Bad night (2266) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

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  (440): Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!" http://tfl.nu/2j1e
  Replies (10) Good night (1667) Bad night (474)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.

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  (832): He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/3z94
  Replies (9) Good night (646) Bad night (146)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?

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  (719): Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit? http://tfl.nu/ng8r
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (111)

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