I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize