My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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