Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize