I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize