don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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