New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize