But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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