I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize