I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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