i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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