Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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