Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize