Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
then he tried to convert me to islam
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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