if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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