i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize