I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize