Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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