you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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