I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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