why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
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So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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