Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Someone shit on the floor
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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