I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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