I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
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