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we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
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